You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize