Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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