Where did you get a picture of my penis
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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