apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
is it fun? or sober?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
