Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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