just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
