best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
