Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
