I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
