I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
