bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
