I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
