Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
