i think my mom watched the whole time
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
