I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
