It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
That accounts for only three of the penises
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
