it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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