Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
