You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
