Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
