Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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