i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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