I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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