Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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