Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
