Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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