dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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