I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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