We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
