there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
