clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I had to cum in my sink.
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