enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
