please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
