people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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