if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
