I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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