I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
