Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
