He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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