Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It was confusing and full of hummus
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
