I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
