So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
this boner is exhausting
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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