Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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