That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
