We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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