there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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