I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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