God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
