We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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