My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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