dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
