i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize