best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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