as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
