It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
