do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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