that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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