I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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