you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just gift wrapped bread.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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