There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I think my moral compass just broke
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