yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
