I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
